01. As a Muslim husband, you should know that women tend to be more romantic than men. They like to hear tender words, to be praised, to feel that they are being cared for, to be the main concern of their husbands and the one to whom he directs his ardent love. You love your wife and your heart is full of love for her, but she does not hear anything of it. You begrudge the tender words she needs and the praise she deserves.
02. She deserves that you listen to her, praise her, and sympathize with her when she is troubled. She really needs this. She cannot ask anyone else for such things; she is a good believer and a sincere wife who can never ask another man for such emotions. Do you like her to be miserable? Do you accept that she suffers thirst although water is near but you keep it from her? You should know that her need for compliments and tender words is as real as her need for sustenance, clothing, and other things that you believe to be the source of happiness.
03. the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was sitting with one of his Companions when another man passed by them. The man who was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “I love this man (for Allah’s sake).” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Have you told him?” The man replied in the negative. So the Prophet said, “Go and tell him.” Thereupon, the man stood up and said to the other man, “I love you for Allah’s sake.” The other replied, “May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you.” (Reported by Ahmad)
Thus, I would like to ask you who is more worthy of such feelings than the man with his wife and the woman with her husband?
04. `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, “It would happen that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would take a utensil containing food, give it to me while I was having my menstrual period, and adjure me to eat from it. Then he would take the vessel being keen to put his mouth on the same place I put my mouth on.” Of course, the Prophet did this as a kind of compliment and to let his wife feel his affection. `A’ishah also swore that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to do the same when drinking water. She would drink then he would take the utensil and drink from it, putting his mouth where she had put hers.
By doing such things, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) intended to guide his nation as to how the relation between the spouses should be, how affection and mercy can last between them, and how the husband can talk gently and play with his wife.
• It does not take much effort on your part to learn:
– to say “I love you” every day,
– to take her a small gift now and then,
– to phone her from work just to say “I love you,”
– to take her out alone now and then even if only for a walk, or in other ways to show your affection.
Such small steps can go a long way to making her happy and strengthening your marriage.